Programming Languages Explained Like Coffee Orders

Look, I get it. Someone asks what programming language they should learn first, and suddenly everyone becomes an expert with Very Strong Opinions. "Learn Python!" "No, start with C++!" "JavaScript is the future!" It's like asking a room full of coffee snobs which beans are best—you're going to get passionate answers that might not actually help you figure out what you want.

So let's try a different approach. As someone who's spent way too much money on coffee and way too many hours debugging code (and worked as a barista and software engineer), I think programming languages are a lot like coffee orders. Stick with me here.

Python: The Vanilla Latte

Python is the vanilla latte of programming languages, and before you get offended, hear me out. Vanilla lattes are popular for a reason—they're approachable, sweet enough for beginners, but sophisticated enough that you won't outgrow them anytime soon.

Python was the first language I actually enjoyed learning. Python felt like someone had designed a programming language for humans instead of masochists.

You can walk into any coffee shop and order a vanilla latte with confidence that you'll get something drinkable. Similarly, you can write Python code and have a pretty good shot at it working on the first try. The syntax makes sense, the error messages are actually helpful, and you can accomplish real things without feeling like you need a PhD in computer science.

But here's the thing about vanilla lattes—they're not basic. A good vanilla latte requires quality espresso, properly steamed milk, and real vanilla. Similarly, Python might look simple on the surface, but it's powering everything from Netflix's recommendation system to Tesla's autopilot. It's the language I reach for when I want to prototype an idea quickly.

Is it the fastest language? No. Will it teach you about memory management? Not really. But will it let you build machine learning models, web applications, and automation scripts without making you want to throw your laptop out the window? Absolutely.

JavaScript: The Frappuccino

JavaScript is the Frappuccino of programming languages—it's everywhere, everyone has an opinion about it, and somehow it's both beloved and controversial at the same time.

Just like how Frappuccinos aren't technically coffee (depending on who you ask) but show up in coffee shops anyway, JavaScript wasn't originally designed to be a "real" programming language. It was supposed to add a little interactivity to websites. Now it's running servers, mobile apps, desktop applications, and probably your smart toaster.

The thing about Frappuccinos is that they're incredibly versatile. Want it sweeter? Add more syrup. Want it stronger? Extra shot. Want it completely different? Throw in some different flavors and call it a new creation. JavaScript has that same adaptability. Want to build a website? JavaScript. Want to build a mobile app? JavaScript (React Native). Want to build a desktop app? JavaScript (Electron). Want to build a server? JavaScript (Node.js).

But also, like Frappuccinos, JavaScript can be... a lot. There are approximately seventeen different ways to do the same thing, new frameworks pop up every week, and don't even get me started on the ecosystem. Sometimes you just want a simple cup of coffee, but somehow you end up with a 20-ounce sugar bomb with whipped cream and three different syrups.

I've learned to appreciate JavaScript over the years. But I'll be honest—there are days when I prefer the simplicity of languages that do one thing well instead of trying to be everything to everyone.

C++: The Single-Origin Pour-Over

C++ is that single-origin pour-over that the coffee snob at your local café insists is "the only way to really taste the beans." It's powerful, precise, and will absolutely reward you for knowing what you're doing. It will also punish you mercilessly for the smallest mistakes.

I learned C++ during data structures, and let me tell you, it was like learning to drive in a Formula 1 car. Sure, once you master it, you can do incredibly impressive things. But you're probably going to crash spectacularly a few times first.

C++ gives you control over everything—memory management, hardware interaction, performance optimization. You can build operating systems, game engines, and embedded systems that need every microsecond of performance. It's the language behind everything from AAA video games to NASA's Mars rovers.

But that power comes with responsibility. Forget to free up memory? Memory leak. Access an array out of bounds? Crash. Mix up a pointer? Good luck debugging that segmentation fault at 2 AM.

Learning C++ is like learning to appreciate pour-over coffee—it takes time, patience, and a willingness to accept that you're going to mess up the process many times before you get it right. But when you do get it right, the results are pretty spectacular.

I still use C++ when I need performance. But for everyday programming? I usually reach for something less... intense.

Java: The Americano

Java is an Americano—reliable, consistent, enterprise-approved, and probably what your office coffee machine dispenses by default.

There's nothing flashy about an Americano. It's espresso and hot water. That's it. Similarly, Java isn't going to wow you with elegant syntax or revolutionary features, but it's going to work, and it's going to work the same way whether you're running it on Windows, Mac, or Linux.

Java is the language of Big Enterprise Software. Banks run on Java. Android apps are built in Java (well, mostly). If you've ever used any large-scale business application, there's a good chance Java was involved somewhere.

The beauty of Java is its predictability. The object-oriented structure is logical, the type system catches errors at compile time, and the "write once, run anywhere" philosophy means you don't have to worry about platform-specific quirks. It's like knowing that an Americano will taste basically the same whether you order it in Seattle or New York.

But Java can also be... verbose. Really verbose. Want to read a file? That'll be twelve lines of boilerplate code, thank you very much. It's the language equivalent of having to specify exactly how much water and exactly what temperature you want for your Americano every single time you order one.

During my time at Boeing, I worked with a lot of Java-based systems, and I developed an appreciation for its stability and maintainability. It’s what I primarily used throughout my career and what 2910 uses for our robot code. It's not the most exciting language to write, but it's the kind of language you can trust with mission-critical systems.

C: The Plain Espresso

C is espresso—no frills, no sugar coating, just pure, concentrated programming. It's what all the other languages are built on, literally and figuratively.

If programming languages were coffee, C would be the espresso beans that everything else is made from. Python, Java, JavaScript—they're all implemented in C somewhere down the line. Learning C is like learning about coffee beans themselves—it might not be the most immediately gratifying experience, but it'll give you a deep understanding of how everything else works.

C is unforgiving. There are no training wheels, no garbage collector to clean up your mistakes, no hand-holding. You manage your own memory, you handle your own errors, and if you mess up, the program will probably crash spectacularly. It's like drinking black coffee—you're going to taste everything, including the flaws.

But here's the thing about espresso: once you develop a taste for it, everything else seems a little... padded. C code is fast, efficient, and direct. There's no mystery about what's happening—what you write is pretty much what the computer executes.

I learned C after I'd already been programming for a while, and it was like finally understanding what was under the hood of all the other languages I'd been using. It made me a better programmer in every language, even if I’ve never reached for C in my day-to-day work.

Python vs. R: Latte vs. Macchiato

Here's where the coffee analogy gets fun. Python and R are both great for data science and machine learning, but they're like the difference between a latte and a macchiato.

A latte is milk-forward, smooth, and approachable. You can drink it any time of day, and it plays well with other flavors. That's Python in the data science world—it's general-purpose, readable, and plays nicely with other tools and libraries.

A macchiato is espresso-forward, concentrated, and designed for a specific purpose—showcasing the coffee. That's R. It was built by statisticians, for statisticians, and it shows. If you're doing serious statistical analysis or complex data visualization, R has tools and libraries that are absolutely incredible.

But here's the thing—just like you probably wouldn't order a macchiato if you want a gentle afternoon coffee drink, R might not be your first choice if you want to build a web application or script some automation tasks.

In my AI/ML graduate work, I've used both extensively. Python when I need to integrate with other systems or deploy models in production. R when I need to do complex statistical analysis or create publication-quality visualizations that would take forever in Python.

Rust: The Third-Wave Coffee Shop Special

Rust is like that new third-wave coffee shop that just opened in your neighborhood. Everyone's talking about how amazing it is, the quality is genuinely impressive, but you're not quite sure if it's worth completely changing your routine.

Rust promises to solve problems you didn't even know you had. Memory safety without garbage collection? Check. Performance comparable to C++? Check. A type system that catches errors at compile time? Double check. It's like a coffee shop that serves perfectly extracted espresso with ethically sourced beans and biodegradable cups.

The problem is that, like many third-wave coffee shops, Rust has a bit of a learning curve. The barista is going to explain the origin story of every bean, the brewing method requires precise timing, and you might leave with an amazing cup of coffee or you might leave confused about why your regular order doesn't exist here.

I've been experimenting with Rust for some personal projects, and when it works, it's genuinely impressive. The compiler catches so many errors that would become runtime bugs in other languages. But the learning curve is real, and sometimes I just want to write code without having to negotiate with the borrow checker.

Rust is definitely the future of systems programming, but whether it's the right choice for your current project depends on whether you value cutting-edge technology over getting things done quickly.

The Language You Should Actually Learn

Here's the truth that nobody wants to tell you: the "best" programming language is the one that solves the problem you actually have.

Want to build websites? Start with JavaScript (and probably HTML/CSS). Want to get into data science? Python or R. Want to build mobile apps? Swift for iOS, Kotlin for Android. Want to understand how computers actually work? C. Want to build high-performance systems? C++ or Rust.

But here's the other truth: once you really understand one language, learning others becomes much easier. The concepts transfer—loops, conditionals, functions, data structures. The syntax changes, but the thinking patterns are similar.

My recommendation? Start with Python. It's forgiving enough that you won't get frustrated, powerful enough that you can build real projects, and widely used enough that the skills will transfer to other areas. It's the vanilla latte of programming—approachable but not limiting.

Then, once you're comfortable with Python, learn a second language that's different. If you started with Python (dynamically typed, interpreted), try Java (statically typed, compiled) or JavaScript (if you want to build web applications). The contrast will teach you more about both languages than learning either one in isolation.

The Real Lesson

Programming languages are tools, just like coffee brewing methods. A French press isn't inherently better than an espresso machine—they're optimized for different goals. Similarly, Python isn't inherently better than C++—they're designed for different problems.

The best programmers I know aren't religious about languages. They pick the right tool for the job, whether that's Python for a quick data analysis script, JavaScript for a web interface, or C++ for a performance-critical system.

And just like how the best coffee comes from understanding your ingredients and your process, the best code comes from understanding your problem and your constraints.

So start with Python, build something interesting, and then expand from there. Learn languages that solve different problems or approach similar problems in different ways. Most importantly, focus on building things that matter to you, whether that's automating boring tasks, creating art, or solving complex technical challenges.

The language is just the medium. The real magic happens when you use it to create something that wasn't there before.

What's your programming language and coffee order combination? Are you a Python vanilla latte person or more of a C black coffee type? I'd love to hear about your own language learning journey and what worked (or didn't work) for you. Connect with me on LinkedIn or follow @code_with_kate for more takes on making tech more approachable.